This week is my cousins birthday. His mother has been doing things leading up to his big day that he likes to do. She has been going to places they used to go when he was a teen, and she has taken out of a drawer things she saved from when he was younger, things that remind her of her son. Things that make her feel close to him again. And on his special day, she will remember the day she gave birth to her little boy. And on this day, she will visit his grave, and she will wish he were here to receive his birthday hug.
This cousin I did not know as well as I could have. He was more than a decade younger than me, family dynamics were not condusive to us being close,though we lived less than 10 miles apart most of our lives. I knew him well enough to talk to when we ran into each other, and he we'd wave if we passed each other on the road. But we were not close. That does not mean his passing a few years ago did not strike me hard, and that I didnt care about him. It does mean however I am reminded once again to realize and actually see the people in my life.
Tonights blog is not an Eulogy. It's not a ploy to get sympathy or to make people sad. Tonight it's about appreciating those in our lives, people we may see everyday and may not always like, but they are there nonetheless. Our parents, grandparents, kids, friends, co-workers...you just never know when they won't be around.
Events the past few years have shown me over and over how fast things can change. One day a close friend can be laughing and joking over dinner, the next day calling to say they have a terminal illness. A grandparents address is scratched off the Christmas card list, a co-worker may be transferred. Things change, and people leave. And we are left behind to caryy on without them.
Losing people in our lives is not easy, its not fun, and its not fair. But it happens, and will continue to happen, to all of us. Those that we are lucky enough to have in our email contact list, our inner circle, our beds, we need to realize just how fortunate we are. It's a good feeling to know that every Thanksgiving, my children will be sitting at my dining room table with me for dinner. I like knowing that if I awake in the middle of the night from one of my frequent nightmares, I have someone laying next to me to calm me. When I go to work, I am paid by people who care, and I'm glad I can call up my best friend of 14 years anytime and know he'll make me laugh. We all have people like this in our daily lives. And at the same time, we all ARE those same people in others daily lives. Look at those around you, see those friends that have put you in their lives. Listen to your kids stories, no matter how lame or trivial they may seem, as the topic is important to them. Let your friends make fun of your inadequacies,and laugh along with them as you point out theirs. We get one round at this life adventure we are on, so scream along with the other riders. And appreciate those in your life. Most of all Love your kids and let them know. Hug them with a "see you later", never a "good bye".
This week is my cousins birthday. His mother will visit his grave. I think he'll feel her hug anyway.
